A lady friend’s WhatsApp Status compelled me to put together this write-up, positively.
Her Status;
“Hungry girls call themselves slay queens like some girls I know they force to look good all the time for the hype meanwhile they are in debt”
“Frankly speaking instead of doing makeup on credit, borrowing clothes and shoes and all that and oh spending your last kobo on material things? Invest your time and energy into something profitable which is going to put you on the boss chick’s ladder and stop chasing married men. Develop yourself the right way and stop that slay queen foolishness”
After reading her post, I don’t know what might have provoke her to putting up this on her status, but I do understand she mastered the courage to say what most ladies won’t have the confidence to speak out because they might be victims themselves.
Dignity in short, is the state or quality of being worthy of honour or respect.
Synonyms; stateliness, nobleness, nobility, majesty, regalness, regality, royalness, courtliness, augustness, loftiness, exaltedness, lordliness, impressiveness, grandeur, magnificence; ceremoniousness, formality, decorum, propriety, correctness, righteousness, respectability, worthiness, honourability, integrity; solemnity, gravity, gravitas, reserve, sobriety, sedateness, composure, etc.
It saddens me when the first request from a female friend is “Am hungry”. Food is a basic need in every home. Every responsible parent will always see to the wellbeing of their children. I remember growing up, my mother use to tell us, “for us to sleep hungry, she will rather sell all her cloths to feed us”. It is not that I was privileged. Every home has its own problems and challenges but without food, you and I know the consequences.
“A hungry stomach, an empty pocket and a broken heart can teach you the best lessons of life.”
Food should be the last thing a lady should request from a guy though it is not a bad thing with right intentions but, it worsens if that is your so-called “new catch”, that is, someone you recently became friends with. Most guys are either pissed off or take advantage of you if the first request to come out of you is “Am hungry”. It raises a lot of questions like, how were you feeding before meeting me? Do you have parents? Where is she coming from? etc.
If the guy is pissed off, he might not call back or reply your messages again, and you might end up losing a future husband. But, if the guy is a payer and wants you on his list, he will go all out to give you what you need, get what he wants and dumps you after getting what he wanted.
Some guys too will keep you after knowing food is the biggest need you have. You become his pet he feeds, and who dares you to disobey his orders, for your freedom, dignity, pride is sold out to him.
It is forbidden seeing you talking/chatting/walking/sitting/calling any other guy, can’t go out without his concern/approval, he chooses your friends for you, and he decides and plans for your life as if he owns or gave birth to you.
With the least provocation, you are either beaten or starved for a day or two to teach you a lesson. He gets to know your weakness and use that to manipulate you for the rest of your life. Trust me, you will eat the finest, expensive foods and drinks but he will never open an account for you.
He will never invest in your career or advice you to take up a job/trade that can pay you. He will always want you to be a slave under his watch so he can regulate how much you will earn after pleasure. He knows the dangers if you get power or exposure to people who will give you good advices.
He always promises things he will buy or do for you and a better life ahead, yet he never fulfils any of those promises. He is only moved when you refused him sex, threaten a breakup or express anger over his failed promises compels him to get you a surprise to keep you satisfying his sexual desires.
Your captivity is doomed forever, he will never release or empower you to be self-sufficient, not your family or friends can break the bond, he will turn you against your family or any person who come closer, give you good sex, make you drink alcohol, give him all the styles in bed, etc. He could stop you from going to church and any social gathering without him, inject false hopes making you believe he is the best thing to happen in your life.
That is how low you have sold your dignity for common food. You worth more than just food my fellow girls. No matter how hungry you are, don’t request food from a guy you barely know.
Guys will always want to impress/show off especially when proving difficult to get you on a date. Let such a guy know that time is money, and every minute to be spent with him is accounted for, not in a ruddy way.
Take the following characters carefully:
- Don’t eat or drink out with him on a first date, you can do a takeaway.
- Don’t talk too much by revealing all your family problems and don’t ask questions, be a good listener. Your comportment counts though…
- Don’t over dressed up, just be your natural girl but look smart.
- Make sure your phone is on silence or on vibration so you can notice incoming calls to pick if you should, and reply your chats too but, you need to excuse him first.
- Don’t over use or stay on your phone for long.
- Don’t accept money but can accept transport fare or a drop off. First date shouldn’t be his home or a hotel accept otherwise.
On the first date, you need to give him a maximum attention, but don’t make him feel so tensed that he can’t talk. From his talks and questions, you should tell the kind of guy he is, straight-away; if you think you would want to give him a second chance to meet again, fine, it is not bad an idea.
Guys again need challenges, you should not be so easy to predict and don’t tell guys your shortcomings and as much as you are in need, meeting a guy the first time or not long ago, don’t let your frustration push you to start demanding or giving sex believing it will make him love you ignorantly, that can push a good guy away. Give yourself some respect. Any normal guy meeting you and having seen all the characteristics you exhibited above would want to know you more and will appreciate you a lot if he finds out your challenges by himself. That is the challenge you have thrown at him.
You don’t have but have that self-esteem, believe in yourself, pray to God every day and he will provide your needs. God uses some people to supply the needs of others (2 Corinthians 8:14), be careful you don’t miss a good guy just because of hunger.
if you in any captivity, and you want to break the bond, inbox us @ ktuinsider@gmail.com or whatsapp 0240273100 you can also leave your comments below
